Shut Up, Fatty!

Posted on Dec 17 2013 - 8:53pm by Katie Reed

Hey you. Yes, you.

You’re fat.

Your ass is far too large. Your thighs wibble grotesquely.
Frankly, it’s disgusting.

Your bingo wings are really unappealing, and everyone is looking at the way your second chin comes out when you smile.

Oh, and let’s not forget your jiggly belly that folds into ugly rolls when you sit down.

I can’t believe you’re wearing that outfit – you really think it hides the flaws?

Oh, are you gonna cry? Are you ashamed? You should be.

You are fat and worthless.

——

Are you getting mad yet? Would you let anyone talk to you this way? Of course not! You would be offended, angry and you would probably speak up for yourself.  And you should! Damn right! No one has the right to talk to you that way. NO ONE.

Remember that, because if you’re anything like me, this is exactly how you talk to YOURSELF.

Recently I saw this video put out by Special K as part of their Shhhhut Down Fat Talk campaign. At first, I rolled my eyes, but then I got upset. 93% of women engage in Fat Talk. We tell ourselves we are less than anyone else because our body composition is slightly different. We look at ourselves with the most critical of eyes, seeing what no one else would think to look for and judging ourselves by our own impossible standards.

Why?

Why are we allowed to speak to ourselves the way we would NEVER accept anyone else talking to us? Why do we focus on our outward appearance as an indication of our worth?

Watch this and think about it.

I mean, what would you do if confronted by someone else with the same damning sentiments you say to yourself on a daily basis? And more than that, would you say to anyone else the things you say to yourself?

I didn’t think so.

It’s time to readjust our thinking and realize that what we’re doing and saying and thinking is having a damaging effect. Not just on ourselves but on everyone around us. What do our daughters and nieces and pupils learn about the world when they see fat shaming on television, in magazines, online and most especially in their own homes?

Hans Christian Andersen once wrote a story which tells of a looking-glass “which had the power of making everything good or beautiful that was reflected in it almost shrink to nothing, while everything that was worthless and bad looked increased in size and worse than ever.” In the story, some demons take the mirror all over the world laughing amusedly as they see every person through it. But when they try to take it to heaven to look at the angels with it, “it slipped from their hands, fell to the earth, and was broken into millions of pieces. The looking-glass caused more unhappiness than ever, for some of the fragments were not so large as a grain of sand, and they flew about the world into every country. When one of these tiny atoms flew into a person’s eye, it stuck there unknown to him, and from that moment he saw everything through a distorted medium, or could see only the worst side of what he looked at, for even the smallest fragment retained the same power which had belonged to the whole mirror.

I can’t help but think of this story, as it seems that most of us have a fragment of that mirror in our eyes. We see our worst features exaggerated to the point where we become disgusting to ourselves. What is worse is that we are making our physical features the most important thing!

This clip of Jennifer Lawrence made me shout “HELL YES” at my screen because she seems to get it and is speaking out against those media outlets that thrive on fat shaming.

And we have the Dove Real Beauty campaign which seeks to help women accept each other – accept THEMSELVES – whatever shape, size, skin color, body type, hair style, etc.

This is not to say that some of us don’t need to lose weight or get fit – being healthy is always a great choice. But healthy means different things to different people. And it should be a choice we make to be HAPPIER, not just to feel prettier. We need to focus on self empowerment rather than self punishment! See what is beautiful about yourself rather than what you think people are judging about you.

This is me. With my frizzy hair and uneven skin and my wrinkles and my eyebrows that need plucked and my double chin and… my beautiful blue eyes that my sons both inherited, and my smile that brings out my wrinkles and still genuinely makes me look younger… This is me focusing on the positive and seeing myself in a new light. This is me. #FightFatTalk

#FightFatTalk Focus on the positive and stop judging yourself based on your weight. See your beauty and love yourself.

Join in. See yourself as beautiful. Forgive your body for being less than perfect. Be you. That’s all you ever had to be in the first place.

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Katie is a 32 year old wife and mother of two beautiful boys. She writes a popular blog about life with her family in central Florida. A keen writer, photographer and crafter, her blog is her outlet for her creativity.

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4 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. Katie Spencer White December 18, 2013 at 3:38 am - Reply

    Great post! You are right, we are harder on ourselves than on anyone else. Just yesterday someone asked me if I had lost weight and I wanted to laugh and tell her to get her eyes checked. I said thank you instead (good manners win out over dry sarcasm every time, to my dismay). But why did I question that? Because after 5 kids my belly wiggles like a bowl full of jelly and I will never accept it….and thinking like that is pointless but hard to change. You have given me food for thought ;-)

  2. Katie Vyktoriah December 18, 2013 at 10:29 am - Reply

    I hope more people think about it. I don’t know why that commercial affected me the way it did, but it truly made me think, “Why do I talk to myself this way?” My husband loves every inch of me, my kids have no idea that I’m not perfect and my family and friends are totally accepting of me whatever I look like. So why do I hate myself so much for something so silly??

  3. Ruth December 20, 2013 at 1:41 am - Reply

    Very good points and a very sensible approach! :-)

  4. Otilia December 20, 2013 at 3:17 am - Reply

    I struggle with this every single minute of my life!
    Reading your post gave me goose pumps. Why do we tell ourselves such ugly things? I do think that media has a lot to do with this. The other day my daughter said to me : “mummy you can’t run because you are fat?” and i said no i can run sweetheart i can. Her next questions was: “But you are fat mummy isn’t it? You are cause you have a big tummy and legs!”
    She is only 4 years old…does she really need to know about all this?
    Besides the media i do blame the people too…and myself for looking in the mirror and say that to myself.
    Thank you for sharing.

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