It’s after midnight, and I just had to post. Today I am considered full term! I was amazed to log in to my Pregnancy Forum and discover that after MONTHS of slow movement, my ticker has now reached its FINAL box!
How amazing is that?! I now have 28 days before I am due.
It is all so surreal to me. Every time the baby kicks or turns or decided to play up, I am reminded how close I am to becoming a mother. Every contraction, every wave of my belly… I wonder if my waters will burst.
I often feel as though he’s sticking his foot heavily into my vagina, though I know that’s not likely. But the electric shock it sends through me scares me half to death.
Each time I wake myself up with a moan of discomfort, I start to worry about the pains that labour will bring. Will I handle them? What is my pain threshold actually like? My mom’s always told me I’m a big baby. But I’ve never really had to endure anything especially traumatic. I’ve had two surgeries, and while they weren’t walks in the park, they didn’t seem overly hard.
I think it’s the FEAR of pain that gets to me. I worry so much that by the time it arrives, I’m already tearful and terrified.
I remember my mom once deciding to take my blood sugar, which entailed pricking my finger with a very small needle. I wasn’t bothered at first, but then she grabbed my finger, started to wipe it with alcohol, and I was overwhelmed with a desperate desire NOT to let her do it. I started to struggle, and she held my finger tightly, refusing to let go. She wrenched my digit, and was squeezing it so tightly that I was becoming hysterical. It was a moment of pure panic. When she eventually jabbed me, it hurt so much that I cried my eyes out. But it was BECAUSE of the struggling that it hurt. I’ve since had hundreds, if not thousands, of finger jabs for my diabetes, and it’s never really painful.
I hope I can keep calm and not work myself up into a frenzy, as I suspect that’ll be key to getting through the ordeal.
Anyway, just for my own amusement, I thought I’d do some number crunching.
28 = days until I’m due
14 = days until my mom flies out to be with me
2.5 = average number of hours of sleep I get each night these days
10 = average hour of the day that I get out of bed
12 = average number of hours I spend sitting on the couch with a laptop each day
22 = average number of times I suddenly panic about the baby coming
3 = days until my next scan
7 = number of consultants who I see at each ante-natal appointment
6 = nights each week that I have baby-related nightmares
47 = mood swings each day
3 = vitamins I take each day so baby is cute
18 = items still on my list to buy before baby comes
16 = times each day that I have to pee
4 = average number of days between bowel movements
8 = number of grandchildren my parents will have once Dexter arrives
Ain’t math grand?