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Humor

A selection of posts that are funny or meant to be taken with a bit of humor.

A True and Accurate Account of Every Online Interaction Moms Experience

It seems that whether we ask for it or not, moms are subjected to advice from well-meaning third parties, hoping to impart their knowledge and be congratulated on their own parenting prowess. The problem is, half the time, those dropping their so-called expert advice don’t even have children of their own. Ironically, this doesn’t stop …

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So Your Child’s Friend Sucks…

In the beginning… As babies and toddlers, we, as parents, get to pick our kids’ friends. It’s cute at that age. There’s an abundance of cherubic smiles. There’s the melodic giggles that come from a child who is still at the age where they’re learning to crawl, then walk—both literally and metaphorically. There’s the adorable …

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Can A Vagina Fall Off? And Other Things I Googled During My Bikini Wax

I hope you’re sitting down for this. In the spirit of full disclosure, I am currently unable to sit down with any sort of comfort. Let me explain why – last night I had my first ever Brazilian bikini wax. Now your reaction to this, as far as I can tell, will be one of three. …

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The Complete Mom Guide to Doing Laundry (In 73 EASY Steps!)

Collect dirty laundry from around the house. Don’t forget to check under and inside the couch, the bathtub and the cat beds. Place as much laundry as you can fit into the washing machine.  Don’t worry if it is falling out. Just keep pushing it in while pressing the door closed and quickly remove your …

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If Proverbs Were Written By Mothers

We’ve all heard those trite little expressions that everyone overuses. Like “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Or “One rotten apple spoils the whole barrel.” These idioms have become part of our vernacular, and some people just love to trot them out in response to any sort of complaint. I personally hate those people. …

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If Parenthood Was an Amusement Park

Welcome to the wonderful World of Parenthood, an amusement park unlike any other, where you’ll travel to dizzying new heights and drop to terrifying new lows! Where you’ll experience epic fear and terror while knowing ecstasy and amazement like you’ve never before felt! There are many different sections in the World of Parenthood, and you will …

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The Mom Dictionary – Words You Never Imagined Before You Had Kids

Ah, motherhood. It’s highs and lows are some of the most epic of the rollercoaster of life. And with its hefty rewards (not to mention the hefty price tags!), it is a ride we wouldn’t trade for anything. But having kids really does make us a little bit… shall we say… crazy. And we find …

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Rules All Little Boys Know That Moms Need to Understand (But Never Will)

1. Wearing a Spider-Man shirt makes him Spider-Man. You should expect web slinging and a lot of fighting with bad guys. 2. He will beg you for a cool haircut just like his dad. He will beg and beg until you give in and take him. As soon as the scissors or razor come out he …

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The Toddler Dictionary – Common Words (Re)Defined By Kids

My oldest son, Dexter, turned four years old last week.  And Dan, my crazy and rambunctious middle son turned two just a few days before that. I have no idea how it happened. They have grown so much and the last year has seen their communication grow by leaps and bounds. But as smart and adorable as they …

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A Letter to the New Baby From Your Wise Older Brother

Dear Chester, First of all, commiserations on the name. I mean, I can sort of relate. Mom and Dad named me Dexter, after all. People associate me with either a serial killer or an obnoxious cartoon scientist. But to be named Chester? I don’t know what our parents were thinking. I mean, Daniel is the …

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Nine Problems Every Nursing Mom Understands

It’s so easy to throw around the term “Breast is best.” We all know that breastfeeding is the best thing we can do for our babies if we can, and in this modern age, we can’t turn a corner without some celebrity or other tweeting or instagramming a beautiful photo of their breastfeeding experience. Stars …

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Ode to the Perfect Mommy Blogger

This morning, I woke up as usual, with birds chirping, sunshine streaming gently across my face, and a cloud of sparkly pixie dust hovering just above my nose. As I breathed in the glittery pink rose-scented morning, I looked across the bed to see my four beautiful children lined up, peacefully sleeping beside me, my …

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A True and Honest Account of a Murder Most Foul

The following story is completely true and accurate. I was an eye-witness from a vantage point so near to the event that it is a wonder I was not spotted nor silenced forever for what I saw. Even now, I get nervous recounting the events of that night, despite knowing that the perpetrator is himself …

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Things I Never Thought I'd Say

Having kids certainly puts us in some interesting situations. Their complete lack of inhibition, common sense or appropriateness often means you find yourself uttering some incredibly awkward words and phrases that, in any other circumstance, might be seen as an eyebrow raiser. I started keeping a mental catalogue of the weird things that pop out …

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