Conversations

Dexter and I sit together discussing possible names for his new little brother:

Mama: What about…. Michael?
Dexter: Mmm. I like it!

Mama: Okay. What about… Felix?
Dexter: It’s okay.

Mama: How about… Mark Jr?
Dexter: NO!

Mama: Alright. What about… Sebastian?
Dexter: YAH! YAH YAH! YAY!! (claps)

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Mark and I are driving home from shopping and somehow come onto the subject of when to have “the talk” with Dexter:

Mark: I think that we should do it when he’s old enough to understand, but not so old that he’ll hear random talk from friends.

Katie: Of course. Pretty much as soon as he asks where babies come from… Who should do it?

Mark: Well, as he’s a boy, I think *I* should explain things to him. Because I’ve been a boy all my life.

Katie: Erm. Okay. What will you say?

Mark: I’ll be like… when a man and a woman love each other very much and decide they want a baby, the woman has sex with a stork and-

Katie: MARK!

Mark: (laughs) Okay. I’ll just explain it really properly. I’ll be like, when a mommy and daddy love each other and want to have a baby, the man will come… I mean, he’ll EJACULATE into the woman’s vaginal canal and-

Katie: Her… vaginal canal?

Mark: Well obviously, I’ll use the proper name…

Katie: Which is…?

Mark: Her uterus. So he com- ejaculates into her uterus and all his little sperms will rush up to her egg and-

Katie: Maybe I should talk to him….

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Dexter and I are walking around the neighborhood when we randomly cross paths with an obviously fit woman pushing a baby in a stroller.  After exchanging hellos:

Random: Ooh, how far along are you?

Katie: Oh, I’m six months now.

Random: Oh wow! It’s good you’re getting out and exercising. Best to keep fit and all that.

Katie: Er… yah. I put on weight after I had this little guy, and I never really got around to losing it before I got pregnant again.

Random: Oh yes! Yes! That is so bad! I was so good in all five of my pregnancies. Only gained ten lbs. Had it off within three days. You MUST force yourself not to think of the baby, as then you have a reason to overeat. And then you have fat babies. My biggest one was only five pounds!

Katie: Um. Isn’t that a bit low?

Random: Oh no no no! It’s just perfect for someone my size. I mean, there’s no way I’d ever get fat. I’m not about to have a fat baby. I have such narrow hips, I could hardly get them out as it was! I can see YOU don’t have that problem. Ha ha ha.

Katie: Right. Um. I’d better go.

Random: Oh yes, me, too. We’ve got to finish our 40 laps for the morning or else we don’t get our Daniels. DO WE, MASON?!

Katie: Eh. Yah. If me and Dex make it to the playground and back, I get an extra cup of coffee.

Random: OH MY GOD! You drink caffeine!? That is the WORST THING you can do!

Katie:

 

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Katie Reed

Katie Reed

Katie Reed is a 38 year old mom blogger from Salt Lake City, UT. She is married to the man of her dreams and together they have four beautiful boys. Dexter is 9, Daniel is 7, Chester is 5 and Wilder is 2. She writes about living with mental health issues while navigating motherhood. Her blog focuses on tips and tricks for moms, information and parenting news, kid-friendly recipes and crafts. She loves to reflect on the humorous side of parenthood and shares the reality of her life, with a "warts and all" attitude.

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