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Ode to the Perfect Mommy Blogger

This morning, I woke up as usual, with birds chirping, sunshine streaming gently across my face, and a cloud of sparkly pixie dust hovering just above my nose. As I breathed in the glittery pink rose-scented morning, I looked across the bed to see my four beautiful children lined up, peacefully sleeping beside me, my adoring husband dozing with his arm draped softly across their little bodies.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

Ah, this is bliss, I thought to myself. I disentangled the sheets from my virginal white night gown, and I slipped on my gauzy bathrobe and slippers, before retreating to my little island of inspiration on the back patio. I come out here every morning to take in the damp grey morning as I journal my thoughts and feelings into my diary, and I sip my artisan blend coffee (I keep it in the freezer so it is always fresh) as I watch the sun slowly rise.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

As I daydreamed my me-time away, I suddenly felt a burst of inspiration overtake me. Wouldn’t it be smashing to surprise the family with a homecooked breakfast in bed? I picked up my journal and slipped it into my pocket, grabbed my beautiful pink rose tea cup and tiptoed to the kitchen. In my very best Le Creuset pans, I set about combining ingredients until I had a stack of chocolate chip pancakes (gluten free, sugar free and made with fair trade chocolate), scrambled eggs (organic, no milk), two rashers of turkey bacon per person, and a posy of little wildflowers I quickly went outside to collect.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

I re-examined my plan to do breakfast in bed. My kids, though obviously better behaved and more beautiful than anyone else’s kids, are still… well… kids. And I don’t fancy letting them loose with chocolate and bacon grease all over my $900 silk duvet. Instead, I set the table with my best china, put on my fake British accent and went into the room, trilling, “Breakfast is served, m’lads and ladies! Up ye get, and make haste! We don’t want it to get cold, dearies!” There were many giggles, and four tiny little bodies hurried from our California King and scrambled across the room to hug me. “MOMMY!” they shouted, joyously. It was like being attacked by the tiniest butterflies, little kisses dancing across my cheeks and sweet bursts of childish morning breath (the smell of angels?) across my face.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.


As the kids made their way out of the room, my hunky husband lumbered out of bed, holding out his arms to envelop me in a manly embrace. This is what security feels like. My heart fluttered, and I raised my chin up so that he could see me smile at him. He kissed me once, twice, three times, and I was lightheaded and swoony. Even after all these years.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

As the children finished their breakfasts, husband and I got ready for our day – he in his suit and tie, shoes polished, hair parted and clean shaven. Me – skinny jeans, cute strappy shoes, perfectly straightened hair, subtle eyes, bright red lipstick. Ready to conquer the day.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

 And then…

Oh… my camera isn’t working.

Oh… well, a bunch of stuff happened, but it wasn’t really interesting. Bye.

11 weeks pregnant 3rd baby
11 Weeks
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Saturday 10th of January 2015

Thank you for this! Been thinking the same thing for quite awhile, somewhat annoyed truth be told. Not sure how I´ve fallen prey to the instagram addiction which seems to afflict most everyone I know. But it is one thing to capture a pretty even perfect moment, and another to ONLY capture pretty perfect moments. Life is not always beautiful and I believe if you´re going to share, share all aspects of reality to the degree you´re most comfortable with, we are all free to choose what we see or read. I follow many moms who enamored me at first through their perfect, beautiful homes, even more beautiful children and adoring husbands. It´s almost like finding that perfect romantic movie that you can watch over and over again. But after awhile it becomes so repetitive that it loses its luster. You start wondering if those four children bouncing perfectly on those perfectly tousled linens really wake up this way or did this take effort and staging because I can assure you, to get my kids framed into a picture like that would be nearly impossible. I like to share my daily moments, I like to be pulled into someone else´s moments, so long as I perceive them as real. Perfect mom blogs please please please show a little bit of real, not only would you stop irritating a lot of us, but you might feel some relief yourself!


Saturday 3rd of May 2014

Oh my word! It sounds like you had a magical start to the day! How lovely! I do hope you get your camera working again soon:-)


Thursday 1st of May 2014

This was too cute. I wanted you to keep going with the rest of her "perfect" day. You have a way with imagery. Love it.


Thursday 1st of May 2014

That was truly adorable! I loved the post!

I rarely take selfies anymore since I'm always sweaty and working out half the time.

Keep in Touch(ed), KG

[email protected] TIPical Day

Thursday 1st of May 2014

HAHA But what a lovely picture you paint! ;)

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