Ode to the Perfect Mommy Blogger

This morning, I woke up as usual, with birds chirping, sunshine streaming gently across my face, and a cloud of sparkly pixie dust hovering just above my nose. As I breathed in the glittery pink rose-scented morning, I looked across the bed to see my four beautiful children lined up, peacefully sleeping beside me, my adoring husband dozing with his arm draped softly across their little bodies.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

Ah, this is bliss, I thought to myself. I disentangled the sheets from my virginal white night gown, and I slipped on my gauzy bathrobe and slippers, before retreating to my little island of inspiration on the back patio. I come out here every morning to take in the damp grey morning as I journal my thoughts and feelings into my diary, and I sip my artisan blend coffee (I keep it in the freezer so it is always fresh) as I watch the sun slowly rise.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

As I daydreamed my me-time away, I suddenly felt a burst of inspiration overtake me. Wouldn’t it be smashing to surprise the family with a homecooked breakfast in bed? I picked up my journal and slipped it into my pocket, grabbed my beautiful pink rose tea cup and tiptoed to the kitchen. In my very best Le Creuset pans, I set about combining ingredients until I had a stack of chocolate chip pancakes (gluten free, sugar free and made with fair trade chocolate), scrambled eggs (organic, no milk), two rashers of turkey bacon per person, and a posy of little wildflowers I quickly went outside to collect.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

I re-examined my plan to do breakfast in bed. My kids, though obviously better behaved and more beautiful than anyone else’s kids, are still… well… kids. And I don’t fancy letting them loose with chocolate and bacon grease all over my $900 silk duvet. Instead, I set the table with my best china, put on my fake British accent and went into the room, trilling, “Breakfast is served, m’lads and ladies! Up ye get, and make haste! We don’t want it to get cold, dearies!” There were many giggles, and four tiny little bodies hurried from our California King and scrambled across the room to hug me. “MOMMY!” they shouted, joyously. It was like being attacked by the tiniest butterflies, little kisses dancing across my cheeks and sweet bursts of childish morning breath (the smell of angels?) across my face.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

Kids-in-Bed-with-Parents-300x234

As the kids made their way out of the room, my hunky husband lumbered out of bed, holding out his arms to envelop me in a manly embrace. This is what security feels like. My heart fluttered, and I raised my chin up so that he could see me smile at him. He kissed me once, twice, three times, and I was lightheaded and swoony. Even after all these years.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

As the children finished their breakfasts, husband and I got ready for our day – he in his suit and tie, shoes polished, hair parted and clean shaven. Me – skinny jeans, cute strappy shoes, perfectly straightened hair, subtle eyes, bright red lipstick. Ready to conquer the day.

Must take a selfie to commemorate this perfect moment.

 And then…

Oh… my camera isn’t working.

Oh… well, a bunch of stuff happened, but it wasn’t really interesting. Bye.

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Katie Reed

Katie Reed

Katie Reed is a 38 year old mom blogger from Salt Lake City, UT. She is married to the man of her dreams and together they have four beautiful boys. Dexter is 9, Daniel is 7, Chester is 5 and Wilder is 2. She writes about living with mental health issues while navigating motherhood. Her blog focuses on tips and tricks for moms, information and parenting news, kid-friendly recipes and crafts. She loves to reflect on the humorous side of parenthood and shares the reality of her life, with a "warts and all" attitude.

19 Responses

  1. Haha! OMG yes! this is so reminiscent of those “perfect moms” out there on Pinterest. They are all like, “I’m a special snowflake, and even my pancake batter is photogenic.” LOL. Laughing so hard at the end. It’s like without perfect photos they won’t blog at all! NAILED IT!

    1. Hehe. Thanks. I was worried people wouldn’t understand my humor. I definitely think there are a few too many “perfect” moms out there who kind of make it seem like the rest of us are doing it wrong. 🙂

  2. Yah, I am so sick of reading all these too perfect mommy bloggers. It is like they refuse to be anything less than perfect at all times. Their kids are never dirty or sweaty or tired. They never have a hair out of place. Their houses are immaculate It drives me nuts.

    Are those photos yours or are they just random?

  3. This is so accurate, it actually kind of scary. I love your blog because it’s more realistic of being a mum. It’s not trying to pretend everything is amazing and you have it all handled with perfect easy. You bring me smiles.

  4. I think it’s kind of a mean post, actually. There are some really inspiring bloggers out there, and I love reading their blogs. Far from making me feel imperfect, they give me something to aspire to. It also helps me to think outside the box when life gets overwhelming with kids. I think, if so and so can do it with five kids all being homeschooled, I can do it with my one child who is pretty well behaved. Though… ok the selfies can get kind of annoying after every little thing. 😉

    1. I promise it was not meant to be mean, and I agree that there are some amazingly inspiring bloggers, and I read TONS of them every week. I guess I don’t think of these types of blogs as something to “aspire” to per se. More like, I think they only write about the things that go right in their lives, which is fine… but I relate more to seeing things go wrong and them make them right… I don’t know. I just get the feeling that there’s more staging in some blogs (lives?) than others. As much as I might try, I will never be one to have the perfect kids, house, food, fashion, etc. My photos will almost always include bad hair and spilled food and a messy house. 😉

  5. Ahh! I love this! It made me giggle! As a blogger, I try to keep it real, and it does irk me a bit that some prefer not to do that. However, that’s their choice and it is also my choice to not read them. So I usually don’t, but Ohh have I seen the things you are talking about! Lol! Thanks for sharing!

  6. This was too cute. I wanted you to keep going with the rest of her “perfect” day. You have a way with imagery. Love it.

  7. Thank you for this! Been thinking the same thing for quite awhile, somewhat annoyed truth be told. Not sure how I´ve fallen prey to the instagram addiction which seems to afflict most everyone I know. But it is one thing to capture a pretty even perfect moment, and another to ONLY capture pretty perfect moments. Life is not always beautiful and I believe if you´re going to share, share all aspects of reality to the degree you´re most comfortable with, we are all free to choose what we see or read. I follow many moms who enamored me at first through their perfect, beautiful homes, even more beautiful children and adoring husbands. It´s almost like finding that perfect romantic movie that you can watch over and over again. But after awhile it becomes so repetitive that it loses its luster. You start wondering if those four children bouncing perfectly on those perfectly tousled linens really wake up this way or did this take effort and staging because I can assure you, to get my kids framed into a picture like that would be nearly impossible. I like to share my daily moments, I like to be pulled into someone else´s moments, so long as I perceive them as real. Perfect mom blogs please please please show a little bit of real, not only would you stop irritating a lot of us, but you might feel some relief yourself!

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Katie Reed [A Mother Thing] is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

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