Well this is me. I took this photo after having four inches chopped off my hair last week as a birthday treat to myself. It feels super short now, even though it’s not that bad. And it’s a lot healthier. The fact was that even though I’ve been growing it all out for two years now, it was in bad shape. Too much dying and straightening and blow drying. Now it can grow and be healthy.
But having done all this, it got me thinking about the rest of me. Like my body. How even though I’m still thinner than I was before I got pregnant with Daniel, I am still not back to how I looked pre-Dexter. And that is okay, because it’s not all about weight. But my energy is so low and I’ve been eating so much rubbish lately AND have become WAY too dependent on Starbucks lattes every day. And even though one of my New Years Resolutions was to stay off the scales for the whole of 2014, once I felt all my jeans were a little snugger than normal, I knew I needed to do a spot check. The last time I’d weighed myself (sometime at the end of November, beginning of December) I was 162 lbs. When I stepped on the scale this morning…
WOW! A 15 lb difference! And not in the right direction! I attribute the extra chub to Christmas, New Year, Anniversary and Birthday treats, as well as almost daily 20-oz Cinnamon Dolce Lattes. Very not good.
Now, immediately on seeing that, I had two reactions. The first was horror and fear and absolute sadness that I’d gained so much in so short a time. I started feeling like a failure and a loser and like I was the most hideous person on the planet. The second reaction was, “Well so what? I am working on loving myself, and screw what the scale says! I am beautiful! I am sexy! I am WOMAN!”
I’ve been working on my Self Love Project for several weeks now, and it has been my mission to learn to love myself more and accept myself, warts and all. But that doesn’t mean I have to let myself go. In fact, if I really do love myself and want to accept who I am, I need to sort out my food demons immediately. After all, I went through all the trouble of having bariatric surgery 6 years ago, and it seems like a waste to just let myself gain it back when it wouldn’t take much to sort it out.
So, I turned to the good people at AmBari Nutrition to give myself a good kick start. I explained that I’d like to lose some weight and feel better about myself, and they were kind enough to send me a few weeks worth of sample products to get me going.
They have a great selection of meal replacements, snacks and drinks to make it easy to lose weight. Starting today, I will be using these soups, bars and shakes as meals, supplementing if necessary with salads and fresh vegetables to keep my energy up. I will be drinking lots of water to help flush out toxins and keep me from becoming constipated (TMI, I know, but definitely can be a side effect of diets!), and I will report back each week to show progress.
My hope is that a few weeks of Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD) will help me take off what I put on over the holidays and give my tummy a bit of a rest so that I can reprogram my body to eat less. I will also be trying to exercise more – which might be hard given the constant freezing rain Florida seems to be getting lately. But even if I have to do yoga DVDs, I will get myself going.
Here is my starting photo. Next week, I will have side by side more revealing photos, but for now, you can get an idea of what my body looks like.
Here we go!
*Full Disclosure: I was provided sample products from AmBari Nutrition for the purposes of review. No other compensation was received and all thoughts and opinions are truthful and my own.