So here’s a subject I don’t see talked about much, but which I know I’m extremely interested in. It’s that thing that started OUR lives and which put us in the position to start OTHER lives…
Okay, so I DO see sex talked about all the time. But the particular thing I’m interested in is pregnancy sex. Like… do you? Don’t you? Why or why not?
When Mark and I got pregnant, we had only been together for about 3.5 months. So realistically, we were in the honeymoon period of our relationship, which meant… you guessed it… lots of hot nookie. Both of us had recently got out of long-term relationships that didn’t involve much sex, and so when we each found that the other had ridiculously high sex drives, I think we both felt we’d hit the jackpot. Both of us lack much in the way of inhibitions, so we were down for trying anything and everything we thought might feel good… or anyWHERE that might be cool.
As such, we wound up crossing a lot of places of our sexual bucket lists and feeling completely fulfilled by one another.
And then the news came out of nowhere. After a marathon month of nonstop nookie (yes, we somehow managed to do it every day in May (sometimes more than once!)), we came back from a sunny vacation and realised that our lives were forever changed. So did that mean our sex life changed?
Well, yes and no.
At the beginning, I sort of freaked out. Not only was I emotionally terrified and really concerned about having a baby with a man that (even though I loved) I didn’t know that well, but I was also really worried about the prospect of Mark leaving me when he realised how hard this all would be.
I won’t go into loads of detail about that time, as it was a bleak period for both of us, involving a lot of fighting and a severe depression on my end. But we did get through it and ultimately came out stronger.
But back to the sex. At the start, though I knew there was no medical reason to keep from going at it, I felt really strange about the whole thing. The biggest issue was that I saw myself differently – no longer a sexual being, but an incubator responsible for developing a human life in the best way I could. Then, there was the problem of me being nauseated by the smell of my boyfriend! My super enheightened sense of smell became a huge issue whenever we attempted to nude up.
Once we got past those issues, I started to put rules into place, which were bizarre and deluded. For instance, I made Mark swear we would not use obscenities during sex and that we would no longer be as experimental with things. Certain positions were now off the cards, and I told him to store the sex toys in the attic for the duration. I wanted to maintain our intimacy, but I was also concerned and confused about what types of behaviours might influence my unborn son or daughter.
What’s funny is that during all of this, despite my constantly churning emotions and how strange it all felt, I don’t actually think we were having that much less sex. Even now, with my big fat belly and my constant tireness and my aversion to brushing my teeth (I get sick putting things in my mouth!!), Mark and I still probably make love at least 2 -3 times a week.
The good news is that orgasms are MUCH better during pregnancy, though GETTING there can be somewhat more tricky. Lube has become a necessity for the last few months, despite my previously priding myself on being always at the ready. Boobs are much more sore, so there isn’t as much play with those, although lately that hasn’t been as much of a problem. Blowjobs have gone out the window due to my aforementioned aversion to putting things in my mouth. And most importantly immediate cleanup is essential due to the ever-prevalent infections that continually plague me.
The weird thing is that at this point, I feel the most UNsexy I’ve ever felt in my life. I feel fat and ugly and saggy and gross, and I can’t believe that Mark actually WANTS to have sex with me, let alone wanting to do it all the time. But the intimacy its created for us at this special time in our lives is unparalleled.
Next month will be a year since we met each other, and at that point, I’ll be 36 weeks pregnant. I couldn’t have ever imagined that an accidental pregnancy to a man I barely knew would work out so well, but it really has. I couldn’t feel luckier to have such an amazing man in my life who makes me feel good about myself no matter how bad I feel I look.
But enough mushiness. Share with my your tales of pregnancy sex, good and bad! I’m curious!!
And if you’re bored and in need of a laugh, check out this brilliant spoof video featuring Christina Applegate. I may have wet myself a little while watching it. 😉