There is something so life affirming about having little boys in your life. They teach you to not be so afraid. They take risks without thinking, and they hurt themselves often. But they always get up and get on with it. They yell and scream and fight and hit, and yet in the same minute they are playing and hugging and smiling and wiping each other’s tears. It is a beautiful thing to watch.
As their relationships progress, I learn so much from them. I see how they allow themselves to feel their feelings. They are in each moment so fully that they see each slight as the worst moment of their lives. Every happy second is the happiest second they’ve ever breathed. They commit to their emotions. They live with no fear of anything. They have no long, dark pasts to haunt them, no broken hearts to mend, and they have no inkling that there is a future out there that may not be as perfect as it is right now. I want to feel like that, to live like that.
I want them to keep that innocence forever. To have their best friend and worst enemy right next to them every single night and never worry about which one he is at that moment. Because they are forever and always both.
This last month has seen lots of new progression with each of my boys. Dexter and Dan have started at a new pre-school down the road. Mark drops them off on his way to work each morning and picks them up on the way home. I miss them, but I also needed for them to have this place I can send them so I can find myself again. Chester is too young to go (from both the daycare’s perspective AND mine), so I am getting some quality bonding time with him each day, and I am grateful.
We have re-imagined our house layout, which is to say that we moved the bedrooms from downstairs in the basement (not unusual in this weird part of the world) to the much smaller upstairs rooms. Dan has moved into a “big boy” bed next to Dexter, and so we now have to deal with him getting up in the middle of the night quite often. Chester has a small cot in the living room, which is about four feet from our bedroom door, and he begins each night in this crib. At some point, he will awaken and cry, and we bring him into bed for a feed, and he spends the rest of the night in my arms.
Because Chester is more reactive now, smiling and laughing and cooing a lot, Dexter and Dan have taken more of an interest in him. Dexter desperately wants to teach him to speak, while Dan wants to see how he works. By that I mean, he is always poking the baby in the eye or ear, and he’s often opening his mouth to look down his throat. I think he believes his little brother is a robot.
Our weather has been very nice so far this winter. Other than a miracle Christmas Day snowfall which melted within a few days, we have had a very green and brown season. For the last couple of weeks it has been quite warm and feels more like later spring than mid-winter. Because of this unseasonable sunshine, we’ve been able to go out and about a lot more than we thought we would.
The beauty of our situation is that we can wear light layers and be plenty warm at home here in the valley, but if we fancy taking the kids sledding (which we did this past weekend), we can just drive 20 minutes up into the Wasatch Mountains and have a snowy adventure! Here’s a video of our recent foray into nature.
What have you noticed this month with your kids? How have they grown or changed in a month?